I have this weird thing that I like to do, that I've been honing and perfecting for about a decade. I like to eat alone in family-style restaurants, while reading a book that seems (on the surface, at least) incongrous to that setting. It's something about reveling in privacy, secrets, the enclosure of a good narrative, and a whole theory of Sad Foods that I'll save for some other time. In my more extreme past, when this practice was still under development, I once found myself in a Denny's reading Donna Haraway's Simians, Cyborgs, and Women. A lot of things have changed for me since then: I'm not quite so willing to experience such colossally bad food out of a missplaced committment to irony and I rarely read anything on which I can spend more than five minutes per page. The basic premise is the same though. So, it's with great pleasure that I report that over the weekend I managed to simultaneously consume the first few chapters of Lady Audley's Secret and a hot turkey sandwich, while occasionally listening in on the employment woes of the cousin of the Greek owner of my local restaurant. There is nothing more tragi-romantic than the combination of Victorian sensation fiction and mashed potatoes.